I woke up this morning and couldn't decide how to feel. Now it's 11:15 and I still haven't decided. Part of me has no worries, knows everything will work out in the Lord's time; there is another part of me that is worried so much it keeps me from thinking about anything else. I worry that I'm being nieve and emotional. I think what my mom would tell me if I were to explain my worries to her. Part of me thinks, "Well, she's my mom and she's right about everything". The other part of me thinks, "She was wrong about the biggest decision I have made in my life thus far, why couldn't she be wrong about this too?"
I know what I want. And most of the time I think that's what God wants too. But there are times that I convince myself that perhaps I haven't the slightest clue what God wants.
Is there such a thing as having too much faith? I think that no matter what, as long as we are living the gospel the best we can, with God's help, we don't need to worry about ANYTHING and this will work out! Is that wrong? Is that putting too much faith in the unknown? I don't think so, but maybe I'm wrong.
Maybe I'm pushing this too hard.
But the thing is, I want to push. I want so bad to have someone to go through this with. I don't want to do it alone. I think together we can help each other. As a team. A team who's coach is our Heavenly Father and who's Assistant coach is Jesus Christ.
Maybe I'm being immature and childish? And trusting the system too much? I'm not sure. But I hope I'm not.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
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